Questions Foster Children Might Ask

Children in foster care almost always ask difficult questions. The situation is likely confusing for them, and they may be scared and unsure of what happens next. To provide reassurance, foster parents should be as honest, nonjudgmental and age-appropriate as possible. If you need help having a difficult conversation with a child in your care, be sure to talk to your caseworker or assessor.

Questions you may be asked

• When can I go home?
• If I’m really good, can I go home?
• Where are my parents?
• Why did you take me from my parents?
• I don’t want to be adopted. Do I have to be?

Tips for responding to difficult questions

• Be proactive and initiate conversations rather than wait for children to talk about their feelings.
• At the same time, be patient and understanding if the child isn’t ready to talk about it.
• Tell the child the truth in a way that is nonjudgmental and can be understood easily by someone their age.
• Allow children to speak freely about their feelings.
• Repeatedly remind children that this situation is not their fault and that their actions do not affect the outcome.
• Assure the child that the adults are working on the situation.